Autistic tendencies in the developmental disability spectrum
In my case .
when I was little, I had taken a little and now I talk only to my family. Of course, my family is annoyed. It may be because the content I speak is biased.
Why don’t you talk? I often think so to others. I think I have to talk, but it’s usually slow to come up with my opinion. The timing of speaking is not right. This is due to the slow processing speed of the brain, which is one of the characteristics of developmental disorders. Also, sometimes I can’t hear what people are saying right away, so I listen to it over and over again. This is also one of the developmental disorders.
I used to think that I couldn’t help because I was a fool. People at my workplace thought so, and my sisters were fooling me. That makes me scared to talk. It’s hard to get used to having to be aware that you’re a fool. So I stopped talking.
I still remember. With clear images, the facial expressions of people who are amazed at me.
I wonder why such a memory that can be forgotten will not disappear. I remember feeling inferior to that. I’m getting tired.
This is also a characteristic of developmental disabilities.
And because of these things, I’m tired of hanging out with people, I don’t talk to anyone, I’m just there. I want friends. But it always fails. I run away. repetition.
And there is another feature that I don’t understand well.
I do not fall in love with individual people.
I like humanity. I love art, books and history. But individual people are not good at it. I thought I had to fall in love for the first time. I forced myself to set up a partner, but realized that I didn’t care about the partner.
I don’t need a lover, so I only do what I like. In other words, my interest is limited. I can’t talk about common topics with other people, so I can’t join the talk.
And I’m autistic.