Let’s look at some specific actions that I can take to improve my live.
In order to make it last longer, I need to set goals that are easy to achieve.
（1) Continue to do it every day.
(2) Report on what I have done.
(3) Ask for advice if I need it (I’m not good at asking people for advice)
（4) Release the garbage in my head (I don’t have anyone to talk to, so I’m putting a lot of pressure on my son)
1) Decide to continue with
Snack on eggs, fruit, nuts, kelp, or rice balls
Do squats after meals or go to muscle training.
Sleep for a total of 8 hours.
Study English and computer for one hour.
I’ll make a chart, so please monitor it. I actually started this a few weeks ago, but I couldn’t resist the temptation from sugary foods, so I’ve already failed. I’ve been drinking every day. But I still don’t feel safe. When I do drink, I report how much I drank. I am not a strong drinker by nature, as my constitution does not allow me to break down alcohol very well. Why do I drink, you might ask? This was the only way for me to escape reality.
Let me clean up the mess in my head.
My husband has only talked to me a little since we got married. My situation at that time was that I had no one to talk to far away from where I was born, and I was phobic of the phone. When my child was born I was promptly in trouble. I was so stressed out by my devilish two-year-old son that I started hiding and drinking cheap fake beer every day.
Why do I have a phobia of phones?
Asperger’s disorder makes me bad at small talk. I mostly just listen to what people have to say. I can’t make a phone call because I’m afraid.
Why don’t my parents see this?
My father clearly has ADHD, and my mother is mixed. I guess they didn’t care that I was a freak because I wasn’t too different from them. I was hostile to my father, so I pursued the cause of my hostility and even found out that he was a psychopath. I knew that developmental disabilities were genetic, but since my father and I were complete opposites, it never occurred to me to look at my own brain.
I was slow to act, dumb, and couldn’t communicate well with others. I am not needed by anyone. I have become dependent on my son. If I don’t change, my son will be affected.
I am grateful to the computer for teaching me this fact.